Wired Cola

Okay, I read this story, and thought it was from The Onion News Service: "Farnworth says police permission should be a requirement for those buying Kevlar vests."

It's bad enough that Mike Farnworth, member of Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition (to reason? To logic?) is favoring this pea-brained idea with a private member's bill. Apparently this is such a great idea, the Solicitor-General wants in on it too!

Now, gangs are bad. The Bacon brothers in this story sure have all the hallmarks of bad people living bad lives (allegedly). But what's the plan? Increase the lethality of gang warfare, so the gangsters start thinking "hey, somebody could get hurt!"

It's a weird, twisted logic that suggests that defensive armor is the problem. The quotes from the promoters of this idea, as far as I can tell, don't even make sense:

"Gangland violence has become more common in the Lower Mainland, and it is outrageous that offenders have the same amount of protection as the officers trying to put an end to it."

That's the amazing Mike Farnworth. Not that big-brained John van Dongen, Solicitor-General, isn't making just as much sense:

"When you consider that the public is at risk, citizens are at risk, and these guys who are really the perpetrators of the problem have the protection of body armour, it's not right," van Dongen said.

It's not...right? You know, the contract killings? Those are a problem. The crimes? Big issue! The unlawful carriage of firearms? Prosecute that sucker!

Kevlar vests? Not really seeing the public safety hazard here, unless the proponents have suddenly decided to start making incredibly subtle risk-compensation arguments.

If I had to guess, what this initiative is really about is granting the police an easily-discoverable, easily-prosecutable offense to tag on bad guys. Well, tough. There's enough laws. I don't give a crap about whether or not the criminals are wearing body armor. I don't want a ridiculous body armor licensing regime. I don't want stern tales of woe about how the bad guys use body armor, in an attempt to NOT GET SHOT TO DEATH! Because you know what, in my world, even saving the life of a bad person is a good thing. Just saying.

This whole story is a litany of weird, tawdry reporting. Apparently the bad Bacon boys' parents have bought an apartment in Port Moody. Apparently, this is in addition to house they have in Abbotsford, where the Bacon boys are currently staying as part of their bail conditions. Apparently the (utterly middle-class, given the local real estate market) values of both residences were newsworthy enough to be included in this story.

Maybe I just need to relax a little.